God Never Wastes a Hurt...

I am trying to recooperate from a long stint in the hospital.  It is not easy, and it is quite tiring, but I want my normal life back so terribly bad that I am working at it as best I can.  All of that time in the hospital gave me pause to think about a few things.  At one point I was actually concerned that my time here on this rock might be up.  I was searching my memories to figure out what thing I had done - as I have always been told we are here for a purpose, and when we accomplish what God sets us out to do - then our time is up.  I could not remember anything that I had done to be finished with this race.  I began to pray like never before that HE would allow me just a little more time here to be with my family.  Not that I am afraid to die - not at all - ok maybe a little - but I do KNOW that when my time is up - I will be sitting at the feet of my KING and that is nothing to be afraid about.  As I tried to examine my fear - I realized it was not with the dying - but the being dead that I was having issues.  If I died - who would take care of my family?  How would my amazingly loving husband be able to keep in touch with the kids - he is their step-dad afterall.  Would their Birth-Dad's allow him to have access?  That would absolutely kill my Mister if he could not be a part of their life's anymore.  I had fear that my Mister would give up on GOD...  That is a little unfounded - considering we have had that conversation somewhat recently, he would not give up - just be a little ticked at HIM I suppose.  Then I was afraid of what would happen if I could not be there to do all of the "volunteer work" and my job at work...  how odd - someone else would eventually replace me, and it would not likely take that long.  All of my fears were unfounded though - because GOD allowed me to make it through another urgent health situation.  I am glad I am not done.  I am glad I have not yet accomplished what I was put here to do.  I am thankful for more time with my hubby and my family.  GOD heard my pleas.  I am so thankful.  I think my faith is a little bigger thanks to my time in the hospital.  I know I am a little closer to HIM.  God never wastes a hurt - never.

God in the... guilt?

I was suppose to get on the elipitical yesterday.  I felt guilty for not doing it, but did not remember until after my wonderful, sweet hubby went to bed and I did not want to wake him...  I fell asleep thinking I would get up this morning before church and get on that machine, and I did not do it.  I feel guilty all over again.  Now, as I sit here at my keyboard and look at the clock... 10:28pm...  I feel guilty again.  I dont think God causes us to feel guilty - the guilt is self-serving.  God does, however, remind us of what it right and of what we should be doing.  I will get on the machine tomorrow first thing in the morning when I get up.  I dont have anywhere to go and no excuses.  I will do this, and I will feel a little better.  God just keep motivating me...  even if that motivation feels like guilt to me, and least I will be doing something...

GOD in the motivation!

Tonight I got on the eliptical again - this time for 20 minutes.  Our machine will tell you how far you have gone, how many calories you have burned, your pulse rate...  etc.  I burned 100 calories...  that is awesome!  I am so sore from my calf up to my butt.  It was hard for me to make it passed the first five minutes, but then I decided to stop worrying about how long I was on there - and started to lift my friends and family up to The Father.  Before I knew it, I had been movin' my butt for 20 minutes.  Way to go GOD!!  Thank you for the motivation!

God in the Changes

Yesterday - one of my co-workers noticed a shirt I was wearing and commented on it looking nice on me - then she said it would be even better if you would just do...  Some may think that was tacky - but this person who made this series of comments is someone that I know and trust.  For all intensive purposes I consider her family.  She wanted me to realize that for the last three years I have been giving all I had to the situation with my son.  Now that has come to a completion, so she ever so gently reminded me that I need to take care of me.  It was a touching moment for me, then...

I got an email from one of my friends from church.  It was a devotional about how we see ourselves and that we should see what Jesus sees.

This got me to thinking, I need to be happy with me, and part of that is taking time for myself.  So today I got on the eliptical machine that has been collecting dust in my room.  I spent fifteen hard minutes listening to praise and worship music and trying not to think about what I was doing.  My thighs were burning and my heart rate was climbing.  The next thing I know I have serious sweat dripping down my neck.  All this and it was only fifteen minutes.  I realize now that what I need to do for me is get in better shape.  I know that I am what God has designed on the inside - but now I need to work on the outside - but not for anyone other than for me.  I will do my best to get in some exercise and eat better...  I and going to do this - a little at a time.  And when the day comes that I have made some headway - I will know that God is in the changes...  the changes in me!

God in the Calling

What a strange day.  Today school started and I realized that my life as a MOM will be a little different now.  Not only is my older child now in high school **OMG** but my younger child has just started her last year of elementary.  When I see this in black and white it really seems so benign…  but my heart is starting to quiver at the thought that I have made it to the point in life where elementary school will be a thing of the past.  No more PTA meetings to sit through so that I can watch my child sing in the half-hour play that the teachers put on.  No more "Pre-Packaged School Supplies" to support PTA.  No more daily signing folders to see what my kiddo has done that day.  But wait…  this also means no more sweet (and still a little sticky) craft projects coming home at Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas…  No more "Guess what I did today" excitement.  No more going on field trips and getting to be the "Best Mom Ever" when I buy all of the kids in my group an ice-cream…  I will miss these days so very much – but I will look forward to Science projects, and overnight field trips, and of course helping with homework that is way over my head.  Coming to terms with the fact that your child has just surpassed you in the category of "book-smarts" is a hard thing to do.  I am so not looking forward to getting into a battle of whits with my child and LOSING…  But I know it is coming and it is bearing down on me way faster than I want it to…

I wonder what the Father thinks when we, as Christians "graduate" to the next level…  And what is that anyway.  I mean seriously – I hear the term Baby Christians...  all the time.  I have even been guilty of calling myself one from time to time.  I suppose now, if I were to have to categorize myself, I would lean toward being a Pre-Teen Christian…  Feeling like I know more than I used to but without the smart mouth – and cocky attitude…  How though, does GOD see me?  I am HIS child – does he even categorize me…  I mean really now – how often do those who feel so unequipped and young in their walk get called to do more for His Kingdom?  It happens – ALL.  THE.  TIME.  And I would be willing to bet – each of us that is really open to doing what He wants for us, will all be faced with a challenge – the challenge – of just doing what HE asks us to do, instead of telling him what we are willing, or able, or wanting to do.  Take me for instance – I don't really like kids.  Don't get me wrong – I love them, but I don't like them too much.  I have a very low tolerance for misbehaving children.  You know the kind I am referring to - the kind that are serious Heathen-Devil-Dog-Misbehaving children...  the ones that you just don't look forward to dealing with. This happened to me recently – I began to teach Kindergarten Girls (a group of six of them) about JESUS.  Do you know what happened – GOD has changed my heart.  I love these little girls.  And now that the school year is over, I am blessed to teach a new set of girls.  I am blessed to get to know more names, and situations, and teach them how to hide JESUS in their hearts.  Will it be a challenge – you bet!!  But I think it will be one of the best challenges I have taken on in a long time, and I am assured that it will be WORTH THE EFFORT!!!!           

Woohoo GOD!!

Thanks for calling me GOD and thanks for growing me just as you grow my children – thank you for entrusting them to me and for allowing me to be their mom.  I pray that all of the little children you put in my class will see Jesus in me – in big ways and small – and that in some small way I will help them to know you, and maybe even help them to draw near to you.  If I can just plant some seeds into these sweet little hearts that are so ready for you LORD – I just ask that you equip me.  I know you will – you have promised this…

God in the Grocery Game...

Before the Grocery game I spent as much or more that I spend now on groceries and we never had anything to eat it seemed.  I would plan meals and when the pay period was over we were scrounging for ways to make what we had (as little as it seemed at times) go a little farther.  Then one evening one of my daughter's friend's mom was running late from work and would not be able to get to the after school program on time.  Since we knew this child and I had talked to the mom a few times, I offered to bring them home to my house and let this child hang out with my kids for a while till mom could come.  Then mom got there and was telling us how she was going "Grocery Gaming" that evening.  Of course I was wondering what is this Grocery Game...  so I asked her to tell me more.  That was the beginning of a wonderful relationship between me and my coupons...  Only GOD could have orchestrated this when we needed it so desparately at that time...  Fast forward to today and you might just ask yourself:

Where else can you spend a couple of hours of preparation and over the course of two weeks come out ahead of the game on your groceries?  Do you wonder what it is I am talking about?  Well settle in and learn a little my friend.  I have been subscribing to a little thing called The Grocery Game.  You can find it at http://www.thegrocerygame.com/ .  I save big percentages every week.  Prior to the last couple of weeks I was getting a pretty good average usually saving betweek 30-50 percent but more often than not, I was much closer to the lower end of that percentage.  In the last couple of weeks I have been going on to all of the additional sites out there looking for coupons that are printable and ones that can be loaded to my grocery reward card.  I think I may have hit the mother load.  Last week I purchased $316.18 worth of groceries and I paid a mere 128.83 for a savings of $187.35 or 59%.  This was one of the highest savings I have had until today.  Today I went shopping and purchased $203.24 worth of groceries for a measly $66.22 for a savings of $134.02 or... thats right...  uh huh... 66%!!!!!  I have only paid in the last two weeks $195.05 for my groceries that were worth $519.42...  Allow me to break this down for you...  I budget 125 per week on groceries.  We take our lunches to work/school almost every day.  For the last two weeks I am UNDER budget.  This is a GOD thing!  We are being good stewards of our money and now HE is rewarding us.  We are using Dave's system and it is all coming together.  God in the Grocery Game...  At least for my family.

God in the Money Mill...

I am challenging myself to be more observant of my surroundings...  Not in the traditional sense, but in the GOD sense.  I know that GOD is everywhere, I just want to challenge myself to see it - to be more aware.  So today I was thinking about our finances.  We are on the "Dave Ramsey" diet.  For all intensive purposes this means that we are as frugle as possible.  One of my frugalities is the "Money Mill"  you drop in your change and over time you find you have many dollars...  Allow me to explain...  Imagine the wonderous sound of a gently whirring motor, this whirring is accompanied by ching ching...ching ching ching.  The whirring is the sweet sound of the motor turning the plastic plate that gently and swiftly encourages each shiny, beautiful coin into its slender plastic sleeve... as each coin is guided into its home, it meets the final resting place... ching.  Then of course the next hand full of glorious coinage is dropped into the holy grail of personal change management.  As, over time, the mill is fed day in and day out - eventually each of the sleeves is filled to capacity.  More magic happens as each tube of coins is then transfered to its paper wrapper, which I like to think of as the gift wrap that my coins turned to dollars are each wrapped in.  Sometimes, when several tubes are ready for harvest at the same time, it feels like hitting the Cycle...  it is so exhilirating.  What's more, with each wrapped tube of coins there is a little more money saved to pay of a specific bill, or to buy that thing that I would never budget for.  It is so worth it!!  Not everyone understands this...  You should have seen the look on that clerks face when I told her I had been saving my pennies, then after she rang up my tennies - I pulled a gallon zippy bag out of my purse with $47.50 in rolled change...  PRICELESS. 

You may be wondering where I can see GOD in this...  Allow me to explain.  A year ago we where struggling to make ends meet.  It was so hard to always say to the kids "we cant afford that".  Then we found Dave Ramsey.  This was a GOD thing.  As we began to name every dollar and put them into envelopes so that we knew where our money was and where it was going, we were finding ourselves on a cash basis.  Suddenly the coins began to collect.  When you pay for something with your budgeted money and you find that you are given .29 in change you just dont even think about it.  Then over time and many transactions being good stewards of what we were entrusted there is a surplus of coins...  Now I am able to enjoy the sound of the Money Mill all because of the plan that GOD put into my life and our budget.  Oh how sweet it is...  If I can find HIM here, I can know I can find him elsewhere...  I wonder where I will see HIM tomorrow.