Tuesday, October 12, 2010
God Never Wastes a Hurt...
I am trying to recooperate from a long stint in the hospital. It is not easy, and it is quite tiring, but I want my normal life back so terribly bad that I am working at it as best I can. All of that time in the hospital gave me pause to think about a few things. At one point I was actually concerned that my time here on this rock might be up. I was searching my memories to figure out what thing I had done - as I have always been told we are here for a purpose, and when we accomplish what God sets us out to do - then our time is up. I could not remember anything that I had done to be finished with this race. I began to pray like never before that HE would allow me just a little more time here to be with my family. Not that I am afraid to die - not at all - ok maybe a little - but I do KNOW that when my time is up - I will be sitting at the feet of my KING and that is nothing to be afraid about. As I tried to examine my fear - I realized it was not with the dying - but the being dead that I was having issues. If I died - who would take care of my family? How would my amazingly loving husband be able to keep in touch with the kids - he is their step-dad afterall. Would their Birth-Dad's allow him to have access? That would absolutely kill my Mister if he could not be a part of their life's anymore. I had fear that my Mister would give up on GOD... That is a little unfounded - considering we have had that conversation somewhat recently, he would not give up - just be a little ticked at HIM I suppose. Then I was afraid of what would happen if I could not be there to do all of the "volunteer work" and my job at work... how odd - someone else would eventually replace me, and it would not likely take that long. All of my fears were unfounded though - because GOD allowed me to make it through another urgent health situation. I am glad I am not done. I am glad I have not yet accomplished what I was put here to do. I am thankful for more time with my hubby and my family. GOD heard my pleas. I am so thankful. I think my faith is a little bigger thanks to my time in the hospital. I know I am a little closer to HIM. God never wastes a hurt - never.
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